addicted
by Xylorta-XV
Summary: once you grab a hold of me, don't you ever think of letting go. ::: a original character study one-shot for Olivia Madrigal. Rated T.


**A/N: Ever wondered why Olivia from KingdomHearts Online became the yaoi fangirl she is? **

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**addicted  
**

_"once you grab a hold of me, don't you ever think of letting go"_

character study one shot: **olivia madrigal**

**[**pairings:_ one-sided olivia/roxas; one-sided ellis/saix_**]**

**[**warnings: _implied violence, discussions of yaoi, swearing_**]**

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**|-**_thirteen: january_**-|**

You really wish that Ellis would shut up.

She's not making a bit of sense to you, throwing out words like water is thrown from a fountain. "Keyblade" and "Gummi Ship" and "Ansem"... it's like a never ending stream of pure, uncontrollable madness. You let the run-on sentences float around you mindlessly, until she finally says the two words that catches your interest.

Cloud. Strife.

You whip your head around and narrow your eyes, silently telling Ellis to explain how Cloud Strife, protagonist of the only video game you'd ever had the patience and will to finish, ended up in her monologue.

"Yeah, I didn't believe it either! But there he was - Cloud frickin' Strife, in all of his blond emo glory." She tries to say this with a straight face, but fails, cracking up the second a giggle escapes your lips. It's a statement both of you agree on - Cloud had some serious issues.

"So Cloud's in Final Fantasy VIII?" You ask, readjusting your bag onto your shoulder again. Ellis scoffs and shakes her head, giving you a hard shove that send your other shoulder slamming into a mailbox.

"Final Fantasy VIII? Are you for real? I'm talking about Kingdom Hearts!" She gives you this big triumphant grin, as if that one sentence will make you exclaim, 'Oh, I _get_ it!'. But, alas, no such reaction comes, for you as just as lost as Alice was in Wonderland.

"What's Kingdom Hearts?" You shrug, rubbing your shoulder from its harsh contact with the mailbox and keep walking down the snow-dusted sidewalk. Then you realize - you're walking alone.

Ellis is behind you, glossy lips parted in horror. A bitter frown crosses your face, and you fold your arms as you watch her stand there, looking like you'd just shot her puppy.

"WHAT'S - KINGDOM HEARTS?!" Ellis screeches suddenly after half a minute of irritating silence. She runs forward, pressing her cold palm to your forehead, her other hand running down your arm and your face in such a fevered way you feel slightly sickened. "Are you ill or something? You _have_ to be!" You flinch and try to push her away but she latches onto you tighter. "Nuh-uh. You've gotta be cured of this dreadful plague before you even _think_ of moving!"

And with that, she swept you into her arms bridal-style and carted you off to her house before you could even open your mouth to protest.

**|-**_[]_**-|**

You were in love within the first ten minutes of the game.

While you played Kingdom Hearts II and kicked Vivi's scrawny little Heartless-look-alike ass in a Struggle Tournament, Ellis filled you in on the back story. You couldn't help but laugh as she frowned while talking about Riku, or how she swooned once Axel suddenly appeared on screen. Or her little fan-girl squeal when Setzer (from Final Fantasy V - Ellis' brother has beaten it seven times) showed up in all of his silver-haired cocky glory.

By the time you were all informed, you had handed the controller off to Ellis and let her play her save file, watching as she returned to Twilight Town for the second time. Out of all the worlds you've seen so far, Twilight Town was beginning to be your favorite.

But your absolute favorite thing about Kingdom Hearts II - the Organization.

Ellis' favorite person in the Organization is Saix, a love she revealed to you by screaming, "WHAT?! HE IS THE DEFINITION OF SMEXY!" when you stuck your tongue out at him and declared that he was the ugliest character you'd seen so far.

Which is ironically funny in a way - the hothead Ellis Grabeel in love with the cool and collected Saix, and the cool and collected Olivia Madrigal having a thing for the hotheaded Axel.

Irony. Sheer irony.

Your favorite person in the Organization is Axel, as stated above, because opposites do attract, unlike common belief.

**|-**_thirteen: march_**-|**

You jerk your left thumb back to avoid being slashed to bits, watching as the opponent strikes air. You snarl under your breath as you accidentally find yourself caught in the path of destruction, and you can't help but wince as the green health bar is sliced almost in half. You keep running in circles, dodge rolling to avoid attacks and use your reaction commands as much as possible until - yes! - you find an opening. You pick up the other person's fallen weapon and one brutal slash is all you need. He's done for, finally done for. You chuckle under your breath as Saix staggers away, shooting a glance over at Ellis. She's frigid, as if Vexen had used his attribute to create her.

"Piece. Of. Cake. Time to take on badass bastard _numero catorce_," you say in a cheerful voice, your eyes drifting from Saix's fading to your best friend. Your smile wilts away as you finally noticed the tears sliding down her cheeks, the stifled sobs making her entire body shake. You haven't seen her this emotional since Aerith died in Final Fantasy VII, when she jumped up and started screaming every and any profanity she knew and/or could make up on the spot at the television.

"Ellis?" You say warily, trying to see if your voice will stimulate a reaction. Nothing. She is truly made out of stone."Glad to know I exist... he was a waste of space anyway." A tense few seconds pass without a movement made, and then, time speeds ahead of you and the next thing you realize, you're on the ground, a pale hand wrapped in a vice-like grip around your throat.

"A waste of space? You're the waste of fucking space, Olivia! He was the best _damn_ character in this entire _fucking _game!" Ellis lifts you off the ground to her eye level, drowned gray eyes shooting daggers at you. She throws you down onto the hardwood floor, your head hitting it with a painful smack. You let out a cry and grasp your head, lashing out with your feet in an attempt to kick her.

You find an opening, and suddenly Ellis is Saix and you're Sora, and you're determined to be this piece of heartless shit into the ground.

No. Matter. What.

**|-**_[]_**-|**

Tears are streaked down your face this time, as you gently lower your aching body onto your bed, pressing your forehead against the ice pack on your pillow.

You couldn't believe it. You and Ellis had broken up - well, not broken up, just stopped being friends - over a fictional character made by computer pixels. COMPUTER. PIXELS.

The thought was nauseating.

An inhuman scream leaves your lips as your fingers dig into the pillow, racking heaving sobs that caused your eyes to become waterfalls. And you're crying like you never have before. Never has it physically hurt you to cry, but then again - you have to remember - you were just in an exhausting physical fight.

Your least favorite person in the Organization is Saix, and you have a good reason to hate him so.

**|-**_thirteen: july_**-|**

You've spent most of your time going back and replaying the other Kingdom Hearts games, but mostly Chain of Memories, fortunately none of them involve your most hated character.

You and Ellis have almost made up twice, but somehow, your attempt to slap her back into reality and get over herself fails miserably, and she takes every word you say as an insult. Next thing you know, both of you are screaming at the top of your lungs, and you're dodging punches and she's dodging words.

On July 10th, you finally give up.

The overwhelming feeling of defeat is too strong, and it spreads from your brain to your fingertips, your moves becoming clumsier the more the screen blurred into a blotchy dotted image. Pixels. Nothing but computer pixels.

You burst into tears.

**|-**_[]_**-|**

It was an accident.

You were on a site called Fictionpress, and you found Fanfiction through the profile of one of your favorite authors.

Fictionpress was for ORIGINAL stories only, but Fanfiction was what she truly wanted to write. And even though you love Harry Potter and always included yourself in your mind while you read it, you found yourself scrolling down the list of games, searching for K.

K being the first letter in the two word phrase Kingdom Hearts.

It's found.

You find yourself looking through story summaries, finding unusual words such as AkuRoku and Zemyx and one-shot and drabble... it's like that January day when Ellis was spewing nonsense.

_Ellis..._

You bury your depression long enough to continue skimming the page, and not burst into tears at the mere thought of her name. Returning to Kingdom Hearts after what happened between the two of them was so hard. Ellis was her power, and with her gone, she felt like Sora without Kairi.

One story interested you in particular - called Tantalize, and from chapter one you was intrigued. The chapter title was the funniest part - The Little Coffee Shop of Horrors. You chuckled, pushing your glasses back up onto the bridge of your nose before burying yourself into the story of Roxas Strife and the woes of working at his family's shop. And you didn't stop reading, didn't stop giggling and scrolling down and highlighting sentences until you got to Chapter 4. Because Chapter 4 had... a... _scene_, a Sora and Riku scene that made you blush all over.

So, you clicked off of that story, remembering the title so you could read it later, and clicked on the one below it. All you got was MORE Sora and Riku, this time set in the actual story.

It confused you to the point of doing something drastic.

You pushed yourself away from the computer and grabbed a clean T-shirt from your drawer, throwing it on as you darted out the door and three blocks down to the front door of Ellis Grabeel. You haven't been here since July 1st, and this was trecherous. You knocked as loud as you could, and hung back in the doorway, seeing through the warped glass windows the figure of a white-haired girl approaching the door.

"You?" She snapped, about to slam the door in your face when you stuck your foot out, wincing as the heavy wooden door slammed into your foot.

"I have a question - and I had an idea that you'd know what I'm talking about but... isn't Sora with Kairi?" Ellis raised an eyebrow, leaning against the doorway.

"That's kinda obvious."

"Okay... so, why do so many people like to pair with Riku?" You had expected Ellis to gasp, or to look absolutely horrified at the mere thought... not for her to burst into giggles and grab onto you and drag you inside the house.

"So... you've discovered Fanfiction... but mostly importantly yaoi." She jumped up and down, before spinning around and almost flying up the stairs and into the hallway. You had no choice but to follow and investigate.

"Okay..." you mumbled, stuffing your hands into your pockets and frowning. You still didn't get it. "Is that some other Kingdom Hearts term?"

"No. It's fanfiction! People LIVE off this stuff - I'm one of them. SoRiku is one of my favorite pairings! My absolute favoritefavoritefavorite yaoi pairing _EVER_ is RikuRoku and -"

"Wait. Riku. And Roxas?" You froze, your eyes widened, your expression torn between pure shock and pure horror. Ellis raises an eyebrow in confusion, hands on her hips and watching you. You smile, and tell her these exact four words:

"That is SO kinky."

Your favorite person in the Organization becomes Roxas, because he was the key to bringing you and Ellis back together, just like it should be.

**|-**_fourteen: october_**-|**

"He is such a selfish prick, Ellis, how in the name of Ansem can you STAND him?" You've got your arms folded over your chest, glaring, and she has her head tilted back, ignoring, and you feel like you're coming to an abrupt, abrupt end.

Your friendship is like a videogame, you can play with it and have fun all you want, but at some point the credits have to roll.

"Easy. The same way you can stand Roxas's emo ass," Ellis gazed at you through snowy wisps of hair, rolling her eyes before looking back at her DS screen.

"..." You can't say anything.

"Seriously. He's a Nobody. Nobodies don't cry, or have feelings, or anything. He's a pathetic excuse for one."

"..."

"Plus, he's not hot at all. End of discussion."

"Saix's turning you into one." You finally regain your voice, although it's choked. "You're so obsessed. So obsessed it makes me sick. You're even adopting how he acts, and -" You point at the streak of bright blue now adorning the left side of Ellis' face. "I hate it..." The last sentence is barely a whisper, but she can hear it. Her head snaps up, her silvery eyes firing gun-arrows at you.

"I'm NOT obsessed!" She shouts shrilly. You take a step forward, bravely, and stand your ground.

"Oh, really? You're not? You're so in love with him, you're blind! He's on your mind 24/7! That's all you talk about if you're not gushing over Riku and Roxas being together! You have 15 one-shots and fanfictions dedicated to you and him -"

"13!"

"So what?" You sigh, kicking the ground with your foot and glaring at her again. "Does it matter? You've let yourself get so absorbed into a video game, into a guy made from a computer, from someone's imagination, that I don't even KNOW you anymore."

"..."

"That's exactly what I thought you were going to say." And with those parting words, you left the room.

**|-**_[]_**-|**

You feel like a hypocrite.

In the aftermath of your last fight, you've thrown yourself into Kingdom Hearts more and more. Fanfiction after fanfiction flies from your fingertips, and somehow you manage to add Saix into your stories this time. You can play 358/2 Days no problem.

Because it doesn't hurt anymore.

You can make yourself subtly fall for Roxas, because you're not copying the way she falls.

Ellis falls hard and doesn't stop. You try to catch yourself, even if you always fail.

You can write RikuRoku and AkuRoku and SoRiku and Zemyx without a single care in the world, without even remembering - or caring - who was the person who introduced you to this world - truly introduced you to this world of wonder and crack pairings. The person who was almost always was there for you - when she wasn't there for Saix.

Which was never.

And as you write the last line of your latest story, you can't help but think over this - and remember exactly why you keep fighting.

_"For like water to a fire, his impact on him was deadly."_

For like water to a fire, her impact on you was deadly. But you don't cry.

Because it doesn't hurt anymore.

Your least favorite person in the Organization finally chages to someone else - Lixsel. Ellis' Nobody. In other words, Ellis herself, because that's exactly what she's become.

**|-**_[]_**-|**

_You know the saying, behind every bitch, there's a guy who made her that way. Well, in my case, it's "behind every addict there's a friend who introduced them to it."_

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**A/N: That last line is directly from Olivia, by the way.**

**Pretty much all of my friends thought Olivia (who was in chapter 6 of KingdomHearts Online) was annoying as heck, and I've always had a little idea of why she's such the yaoi fangirl she is. But it only sunk in recently.**

**Honestly, I love Olivia, and touching the darker side of her has made me love her even more. I'm very tempted to write something more about her - and maybe even a parallel version of this in Ellis' point of view.**

**Reviews make me so, so happy. =D Tell me what you think of this, readers.**

**Love - Tayberry**


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